


Recovery

by Phobicesia



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:30:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phobicesia/pseuds/Phobicesia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris has been left on the mountain. Josh is coping with the fact that his best friend/boyfriend is gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Broken Man

 

_He couldn't just leave him. “We can... we can leave together...” he lowered his voice. Chris glanced from the corner of his eye. “No, we can't. Go.”_

_Josh clenched his jaw. Chris meant way too much to him to just leave him for dead._

_“Hey,” Sam called out. The wendigo had their sight on Sam now. They could run out of the cabin or make their way to the cable car. Abandoning Sam was just wrong though._

_“Josh, go,” Chris told him in a hushed tone. “I'll meet with you.”_

_Josh pursed his lips and made a run for it. No stopping until he made it to the cable car. His heart was heavy, his legs weak._

_He locked himself in the small room. He stood by the window, watching for someone... anyone to come._

_Chris... Chris deserved to live. He's only ever done good things, so self-sacrificing. Was it so equal to end his life after everything?_

You left him for dead. _His voices taunted him._

_His fingernails dug into his head. “It's not my fault... no no...” he fell to the floor. Deep down, he knew it was his fault. If Chris were to go down, so should he._

_He was startled as someone was banging on the glass. Josh shot up to see Sam, Chris following far behind. A sigh of relief._

_He nudged the door open, enough for Sam to slip in. He smirked to Chris._

_Astonishment took over Josh. He was going to actually make it, like he said he would. Words could never describe how gleeful he was._

_That all crashed down when a wendigo came leaping from the woods, pinning Chris down. “Chris!” Josh bellowed. Trying to fit through the slit of the door, Sam clamped onto his wrist. “Josh, don't,” she warned him._

_He carelessly watched as the wendigo lugged his still body away._

* * *

 

His fingers traced the lines on the wooden floor, his knees cradled up to his chest.

That night still haunted him. He had no clue if Chris was even still alive. They had claimed to be searching every trace of the mountain. Of course they were spouting bullshit to try and calm Josh's nerves.

He glimpsed at the horror in Chris' eyes before the wendigo took him months ago. He was most likely dead by now, whether it be from dehydration, starvation or turning into a wendigo.

Most days, Josh spent time in the corner of his room, escaping from everyone who tried to coddle him with words.

 _'_ _Chris is surely alive'_ or _'they'll find him, just give it time'_. His hope has run out. As much as he wanted to believe he was lurking somewhere in the woods, it just wasn't true.

A knock on the door startled him. “Josh?” his mom peeked in. Josh held himself closer and scanned the walls.

“We were gonna go out to eat... did you want to come?”

He tightened his lips. All she got was silence. “Well... we'll bring something back, okay? We love you, sweetie,” she blew him a kiss, shutting the door behind her.

It was going to end up in the trash like all the other meals. Josh was losing rapid weight because he was not eating like he should. At most, three times a week.

His parents were lost as what to do; they weren't going to shove the food down his throat. The most they could do was remind him to eat or transport food to him.

Josh's thumbs circled each other before letting his cheek rest on his knees.

Reminiscences of his sisters crossed his head. He was the older brother, his job was to shelter them... guide them. Instead he was drunk off his ass with Chris.

Chris... He might have been here today if he wasn't idiotic enough to ditch him. 'I'll meet with you' constantly replaying in his mind.

_Yeah... we'll meet soon enough, Chris._

He heaved himself up from the floor and dragged himself to the bathroom in his room. The mirror was the first thing to catch his eyes, reflecting his worst enemy.

Vivid, dark bags hung under his eye. His face had been drained of natural color, his skin hugging his bones.

Josh had a burning feeling in the back of his throat as Chris' facade image became visible behind him.

“Where were you, Josh?”

Numbness. Chris' blank face was covered in scars and dirt. “First your sisters... now me? Are you truly that heartless, Joshua?” Chris glowered.

Josh's head was now pounding. It was as if it was going to split open with how rough it was pounding.

“N-no... go away,” Josh trembled. “Go away...? Like how you went away?” this dark, wicked grin formed on Chris.

“You're not real... not real nope, nope, nope.”

“Oh, I'm just as real as you want me to be,” he caressed Josh's cheek with the back of his cheek. “ _NO_!” his fists slammed onto the mirror multiple times, shattering it to pieces.

A stinging sensation in his hands. Blood was trickling out. “I-I'm sorry...” he crumpled to the floor. He wanted closure with Chris, desire to advise Chris that he never meant for it to result in his death.

“I know. I know... I'm sorry, so sorry. A-a-all my fault!” a steady flow of tears were streaming down his face.

He hid his face with his hands causing his blood to stick to his face. He stayed there, rocking back and forth.


	2. Checking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh visits the hospital to treat his wounds. Sam gives a call to meet up with him later.

“Oh god, Joshua,” his mother unveiled Josh's bloody face. “Honey, no,” she gracefully brushed her thumb across his cheek. She guided him up from the floor with care.

"Sweetie, I need you to start up the car," she prompted her husband. His mom sat him on his bed while she slipped his shoes on.

Josh was in a complete daze, he was clueless as to what was happening. "You're going to be okay," she bundled a blanket around Josh and escorted him to the car.

All Josh could ponder about was Chris. He yearned for his kisses, to be held. Some kind of sign that maybe, just _maybe_ , he somehow made it.

Josh was lead inside the hospital. All eyes were on locked on him.

He froze up once he registered where he was. "It's okay," his mom patted his arm as reassurance.

He despised the hospital. The last time he had been here was for his friends; Mike getting his slit ring and pinky finger treated, everyone else having their wounds addressed.

Every single one of them was terrified of Josh after what he'd done. Except Sam. She attempted to reach out, only to get cast off. At the time, Josh constantly felt sick to his stomach. Chris was back on the mountain while the people who now hated him most, remained.

' _You're a psycho, Josh.'_

_'You left Chris for dead.'_

"You need to sit still if you want me to finish stitching," the doctor implied. Josh's face washed with terror. "It's alright, just needed a few minor stitches."

 "See, all done," she revealed her dimples. "Now, why don't you relax while I speak to your parents, hm?" she freed the gloves from her hand and stepped out of the room.

Josh was teetering as dark thoughts crept into his mind. Everyone detested him after his stunt. So what was there to live for? Was it truly worth experiencing a life where you had no one and past thoughts anguished you?

"Stupid..." Josh croaked. His teeth were nipping away at the dead skin on his lips. Death was so inviting right now. A tall shadow figure stood before Josh. " _I will always be here for you, Joshua,_ " he muttered in his ear.

Josh's eyes hardened. Cold hands clamped onto his tense shoulders. " _I'll take care of you... you just simply, need to end your life._ "

"How are you doing?" his mother interjected. The shadow was wisped away by the wind. "I-I..."

"Honey, Sam called. She wanted to take you out for dinner later today," she crossed her arms. "I um... I thought it might be a good thing for you, so I told her you'd meet her there."

Josh crooked his neck. "I don't... No," he grunted. Besides Chris, Sam was his closest friend. He didn't want her seeing him like this.

"Honestly, Josh. I-I'm trying to be a better mother. I don't know how else to _help_ you. You refuse to go to therapy or take your meds..." she took a breath of air in. "I feel like Sam can help you through this better than what we can."

He was ready to protest but ended up gluing his lips together. "Let's go," she offered her hand to him.

* * *

 

"Alright, just give a call whenever you're ready to be picked up."

Josh scooted out from the car to spot Sam waiting outside. Her face lit up once they made contact.

"Josh! It's been _way_ to long!" Sam embraced him. She hadn't even acknowledged how ill he looked. "Yeah... too long."

"Well, c'mon," she paced inside. Once seated, Sam propped her elbows on the table, leaning in with a grin spread across her face. "How have you been?"

"I'm uh, I've been doing well," lies poured from his mouth. She naturally knew he was fibbing, but let it slide.

Josh's eyes explored the room. White Christmas lights dangling from the walls, many photos of nature, people communicating about meaningless things.

"Anything interesting happen as of lately?" Sam was upholding a conversation. He shrugged while avoiding any eye contact. It was clear to her he didn't want to chat about him.

"I've uh, been dating this really nice girl for a month now. I think you'd really like her," her bright white teeth blinded whoever laid eyes on them. Josh fiddled with his fingers under the table. "I'm happy for you," his lip shaped a tight line.

"Have you... met anyone new?" she rued even questioning it. Josh's eyes broadened, their eyes hooked on each other.

"Ah... Josh I-"

"Don't... it's fine..."

"But I-"

"It's. _Fine._ " he pressed his teeth together. "Sam, I know you mean well, but I just..." he kneaded his forehead.

"Josh. I want to help, please."

He sealed his eyes shut. He didn't want help, he wanted his sisters and Chris. He longed to touch them again.

"Sam..." he caught his tears before they could fall. "I'm going back to for Chris."

"Y-you what?" she choked out. Memories of that night haunted her every night. She struggled with trying to erase that night. "I want to go back. I need to know, Sam," his whole body was quivering.

"They have a team of peo-"

"No, they don't. Look, I'm not asking you to come with me, I'm just informing you."

Sam blinked several times and shook her head. "What about the wendigos?" she cocked closer to Josh. She was anxious that Josh was going to actually go through with this after what happened a few months ago.

"I'm going either way. Are you in or not?"

She knew he couldn't go alone, he would end up dead. "Alright."


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way to Blackwood Pines with Sam, Josh remembers his times with Chris

_"Just leave!" Josh shouted. Chris edged closer to him cautiously. "Josh..."  
_

_"D-don't... go," he had warned him. Chris wasn't abandoning him like this, not when he needed him most. "I'm not leaving without you," Chris was firm on his position. "You don't know who I really am, Christopher!"  
_

_It wasn't entirely a lie. Chris has never seen this part of him. He's always concealed it out of fear that Chris would carry on his merry way without him._

_Hot tears left Josh's eyes, his hands balled up into a fist. He was pacing back and forth. "I'm a-a... I have problems! Go, just go like everyone else!"  he fidgeted, his cheeks wet. He slapped a family photo off of his nightstand._

_"I'm not everyone else. I_ love _you... let me help."_

_Josh's face scrunched up from puzzlement. Was he being dear? He has never been offered support from a friend, especially from someone he loved profoundly. A stirring feeling raised from his stomach to his chest._

_Chris bolted to Josh; his arms yanking him in tightly. "I'm never going to bail on you."_

_He was bewildered for a moment before clinging onto him. For the first time, comforting words he trusted._

_"I'm-" Chris buried Josh's head into his shoulder. "Shh. It's okay," he trailed his finger along his back; his other hand was running through Josh's short, black hair._

_His muscles relaxed as they stayed in that moment. "Please... don't ever leave," Josh was ready to cry again. Chris smiled to himself. "Not even if you tried."_

 

Sam tapped his shoulder. "You okay?" she held an earbud out of her ear. He swiped trickles of tears off his face and nodded. 

His fingers laced around his own while staring out the bus window. So much he wanted to tell him. If not here, then after life. He needed to make amends in some way.

He was gone now, but not by choice. Josh was constantly setting the blame on himself for flaking out on him. How different would things have been if they left together? Would Sam be here? Or if Josh had stayed, maybe they would have all gotten out?

He peeked over at Sam. He inquired if it was even a good idea to bring her along. Everywhere he went, someone died or was injured in some way. He was like a personal bad luck charm.

" _You're not wrong, Joshua._ "

Cold hands hooked around his jaw. Josh froze up. " _You remember me, hm_ _?_ " their voice cracked.

Josh furiously scratched away at his arm. He wasn't supposed to be back, not now; they were getting close to Blackwood Pines. " _Beth and Hannah... it's a shame-_ " they popped their lips, " _honestly. They're in safe hands now... but what about you?_ "

Josh steadied his breathing. "You're not real, not real, no..."

Of course it wasn't real, but the words it hit him with hurt nonetheless.

" _Chris is here, if you'd like to see him._ "

That was the breaking point for Josh. " _Stop_!" he clutched onto the seat in front of him. The bus came to sudden halt, and right in front of the Blackwood Pines entrance.

Josh shot up from his seat and sprinted off of the bus.

"Alright... I'm coming, Chris."


	4. Searching Until Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Sam arrive at Blackwood Pines. The search for Chris is on.

"You're okay, you're fine," Josh comforted himself with his own words. Chest heavy, lungs shrinking. He wasn't sure if he was ready to see Chris, dead or alive.

"Hey, wait up," Sam jogged up next to him. He stuffed his hands into the coat pocket that belonged to Chris.

He clung the coat closer to him, getting a whiff of the overly used body spray.

A burning feeling rose up to the back of his throat. He loved that smell but at the same time it was something he detested. It reminded him so much of the dorky, blonde-haired man who was always on his phone. _Goddamn_ did he wear too much, though.

"Where should we search first?" Sam hopped from one foot to the other as she tried to regain warmth. Josh chewed on his bottom lip in thought.

There were many places they could search. The burnt down cabin? The woods? The little cabin Mike and Jess had stayed in? No.

"We go to the mines."

"The mines...? Not that place again..."

"It makes the most sense, Sam."

She groaned to herself. The mines left her uneasy, just as it did for everyone else who went down in the mines.

He lead the way to the gates. She hesitated before jogging next to him. "I see the gates are still down," she muttered.

"Yeah, well," Josh heaved himself up the stones. "You passed gym with flying colors, am I right? Or am I right?" Sam joked. She was obviously attempting to lighten the mood.

He flew down from the top. "Okay, your turn," he scanned the area out of fear. A wendigo could come out at any moment, and he felt somewhat prepared for death if that were the case.

Sam leaped from the top and shook her hands around. "Lead the way," she gripped onto her backpack straps. He tread carefully on one of the trails.

The negative thoughts came washing in. He tried to cleanse them into something positive, but his mind wouldn't let him.

Images of Chris' corpse flashed in his head. He twitched with each thought.

Chris may have been a huge nerd, but he knew how to be resourceful. All those years of playing survival games better have counted for something.

 "I think he's okay," Sam stated. He thought, _she must have mind reading powers_. "I hope."

Hope was dwindling down for him. All he could say was 'I hope'.

_I hope, I hope, I hope._

It was a strange thing. 'I hope' said in situations of despair. You hope, but you _know_.

A rustle came from the woods. "What was that?" Sam took a step back. "It's best to just stay still."

A stranger popped out onto the trail with only their bright blue eyes visible, a flamethrower in their hands. It couldn't be the man from before? They saw his head detached from his body as it lay still in the snow.

"Sam, Josh?"

It couldn't be. Josh held his breath as the stranger pulled down on the face mask.

"Chris?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap this was painful to write but if you want to leave any feedback please do? The next chapter will be longer, I promise


End file.
